Death

Death
Death

Death

Are you scared of death?

I often find it rather amusing when people who are extremely religious fear death, and if they get cancer they want a cure. Its amusing because if they did believe in the religion, logically they would want death, as most religions are based on the fact that you have this wonderful afterlife. Yet, these religious folks will do everything they can to stay alive as long as they can. Its as if deep down they not 100% believers. I know if I believed in god and heaven, I would want to be dead as soon as I could to get to this magic land.

As a child I was dragged to church. And at church we would be asked to pray for so and so as they were ill, and to pray for them to get better. It seemed odd as why would the church not pay for death for them? It was as if the priest (or whatever the baptist church chap called himself) was stopping people going to these great afterlife.

And again at funerals, rather than celebrating someone dying, all these so called religious people cry and are upset? Again, its as if deep down they do not believe in the afterlife.

In truth, I do not fear death. I do not fear it as I have spent my life doing what I wanted, and as such, have no worries about death. Most people seem to fear death because they have spent most of there life working for a firm (that probably could not give a hoot about them), and when they die, they will have only ever worked to make some person rich.

What my fear of death is, dying before my dog(s), as I would hate to have them be left on there own, and would hope someone would take them in and look after them.

On my death, they can do what they want with my body. I would be more than happy to be made into dog food. The notion of painting my face and sticking me in a wooden box costing thousands to be simply burnt to a crisp, seems a rather silly waste of money. I would also think it foolish for everyone to have to say how ice I was at my funeral, because that would be a complete lie. I would prefer to say that I was a jerk, that everyone hated, and were glad I was dead, as that would be the truth and would be for more pleasing for me, rather than lies that I was some decent chap.

I have avoided marriage, as in the unlikely event of an afterlife, I would want to see my wife be in mourning in black, for at least ten years. However I would suspect that she would be married again within a few months, telling people that’s what I would want, her to be happy. No, I want her to spend the rest of her life telling people that no one else could come close to me, and as such she will never look at another male again, and remain in black for the rest of her life. Thus to avoid this situation, I shall remain single. I would also suspect knowing my luck, that if I did get married, she would turn out to be a black widow, and I would find my neck being cut open.

One thing that would bug me about death, is missing the new Star Wars films.

Some of my relatives have told me what sort of funerals they want. I have agreed to there wishes. However, as they will be dead, I shall simply bung there bodies in a hole in my garden and save thousands of pounds on funeral fees, which I can spend on myself.

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